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October 18, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Feeling ill an alligator goes to the vet. ” What seems to be the problem?” asks the vet. ” I just don’t have the drive I used to, Doc” the gator says. ” Used to be, I could swim underwater

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October 17, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Mom say’s to her son: Having trouble with your computer, son? Son replies: My PC says it can’t see my printer. Mom say’s: I’m not surprised. Look how messy your room is.

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October 13, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Three men were asked what they would want to be said about them at their funerals.  The first one said, “I want someone to say I was a wonderful father.”  The second man said, “I want someone to say I

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October 12, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

The patient asks: Doctor, how much will it cost to do a facelift? Doctor: Complete treatment is $15,000. Patient: It’s too expensive!!!!  What is the cheapest way to make me look young? Doctor: Here is a PACIFIER…ONLY $5… Photo courtesy

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October 11, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a disagreement with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. He took it outside and started smashing the

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October 10, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland .As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.  She showed the group a

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October 6, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

And God said to John “Come forth and you will be granted eternal life.” But John came fifth and got a toaster. Photo courtesy of clipartpanda.com

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October 5, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Dan say’s to his buddy Frank:  How did you like the ballet? Frank replies:  I don’t understand all that toe dancing.  Why don’t they just get taller girls? Photo courtesy of clipartpanda.com

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October 4, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little

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October 3, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. “Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!” Trying to

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September 29, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

She was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner. Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she laboured away

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October 28, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

There once was a very slow moving snail who wished he could be fast like all the other animals. One day he met a magic Genie who promised to grant him his wish. The snail asked the Genie for a

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September 27, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Its Mike’s first day on the job as a bartender. As he serves a customer a Manhattan, a piece of parsley falls into the drink. “What the hell is that?” the customer asks. “It’s your Manhattan. And there’s Central Park.”

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September 26, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

An artist goes to the art gallery where his paintings are sold. The manager told him: I have a good news and a bad news.  An investor dropped by last week for a global evaluation of your paintings.  He asked

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September 25, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Wife says: “What are you doing?” Husband: Nothing. Wife: “Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.” Photo courtesy of clipartpanda.com

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