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November 29, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

An elderly lady went into a butcher shop and asked for a fresh Bradford turkey. Joe the butcher brought out a fresh turkey and began to wrap it up but the lady peered down its throat and proclaimed “this is

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November 22, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

After a particularly poor game of Golf, a popular Golf member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to his vehicle, a Policeman stopped him and asked. ” Did you tee off on the 16th

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November 21, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom than usual, saying, “You’re an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You’ll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you’d come in

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November 20, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A guy calls the hospital. He says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” He says, “No! This is her husband!” Photo courtesy of cliparting.com

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October 27, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a local restaurant in Barrie one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk did not have a scent, the deer did not have a buck so they

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October 26, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

“Yes, I came face to face with a lion once, and as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun.” “What did you do?” “What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyes but

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October 25, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, “And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts,

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October 24, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa … “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese

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October 20, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Lady was conducting her anti-drinking campaign outside a bar…. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes… The Lady asked him :- “Tell me…!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor,

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October 19, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father

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October 18, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Feeling ill an alligator goes to the vet. ” What seems to be the problem?” asks the vet. ” I just don’t have the drive I used to, Doc” the gator says. ” Used to be, I could swim underwater

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October 17, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Mom say’s to her son: Having trouble with your computer, son? Son replies: My PC says it can’t see my printer. Mom say’s: I’m not surprised. Look how messy your room is.

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October 13, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Three men were asked what they would want to be said about them at their funerals.  The first one said, “I want someone to say I was a wonderful father.”  The second man said, “I want someone to say I

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October 12, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

The patient asks: Doctor, how much will it cost to do a facelift? Doctor: Complete treatment is $15,000. Patient: It’s too expensive!!!!  What is the cheapest way to make me look young? Doctor: Here is a PACIFIER…ONLY $5… Photo courtesy

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October 11, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a disagreement with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. He took it outside and started smashing the

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